One minor frustration I had when reading El Goonish Shive (mini-review here) is that there is no official character list. There are some character lists created by fans (links below) but they are heavily spoiler-laden. Since I strongly recommend reading the whole story from the beginning here, that tends to defeat the purpose.

So in a typical obsessive manner I created my own character list. To minimize spoilers I list the characters roughly in order of appearance and describe them only as they first appear (no character development or new powers.)

I have taken the liberty of assigning RPG-style alignments to the characters. I find this helpful in understanding this particular story, but I want to make it clear that this is my idea, not Dan Shive’s. The alignments just represent my impression of the characters and may not reflect the author’s views.

Characters

Tedd Verres is a budding mad scientist who lives in a nondescript town called Moperville located somewhere in the American mid-west. He is 17 years old and a junior at Moperville North High School. He is painfully shy and somewhat twisted, but he has some good qualities.
Alignment: Chaotic-Neutral.
Intelligence: High.
Paranormal Abilities: Mad scientist.
Embarrassing Secret: There’s nothing wrong with his vision. He wears the glasses to disguise his girlish features.
Hair: Purple.
Sexual Orientation: Pervert.

Elliot Dunkel is Tedd’s classmate and best friend (probably his only friend at the beginning of the story.) He is a nice, clean-cut all-American boy. For someone like that to hang out with someone like Tedd is bound to have tragic consequences. Elliot is handsome, brave, strong, honorable, thoughtful and kind. He will not hesitate to intervene to protect the weak or right an injustice, even at great risk to himself.
Alignment: Lawful-Good.
Intelligence: Average at best.
Paranormal Abilities: A student of Anime-Style Martial Arts, Eliot can perform amazing feats by focusing his ki.
Embarrassing Secret: Fantasizes about being a superhero. (You should be careful what you wish for.)
Hair: Light Brown.
Sexual Orientation: Hetero.

Their classmate Sarah Brown has known Tedd and Elliot for years. She likes Elliot but doesn’t trust Tedd. She is a normal level-header girl, artistic and maybe at bit prudish. She refuses to go along with Tedd’s suggestions that she should wear more revealing clothing.
Alignment: Neutral-Good.
Intelligence: Average.
Paranormal Abilities: None.
Embarrassing Secret: Draws comics.
Hair: Blond.
Sexual Orientation: Hetero.

Dr. Germahn [NCC] is a German scientist who sometimes appears at the end of a story sequence to explain points about which the readers may be confused. In his day job he is the head of Germahn Labs and is responsible for consumer products such as Shrink Soda and Catgirl Cereal.
Alignment: Chaotic-Neutral (bordering on Evil.)
Intelligence: High.
Paranormal Abilities: Mad scientist.
Hair: White.
Sexual Orientation: Pervert.

Amanda [NCC] is Dr. Germahn’s beautiful but gullible assistant. She longs to be taken seriously as a mad scientist, but she usually ends up being the subject of embarrassing experiments.
Alignment: Chaotic-Stupid.
Intelligence: Below average.
Paranormal Abilities: Mad scientist.
Hair: Blond.
Sexual Orientation: Hetero.

Principal Verrückt is the tinpot dictator of Moperville North High School. He is a great believer in inspirational murals and diverts much of the school budget to commissioning them.
Alignment: Lawful-Stupid.
Intelligence: Below average.
Paranormal Abilities: None.
Hair: Fake.
Sexual Orientation: Hetero.

Tony is a football player who constantly bullies Tedd, making fun of his girlish features.
Alignment: Chaotic-Stupid.
Intelligence: Bullies a mad scientist.
Paranormal Abilities: None.
Sexual Orientation: Hetero. (But why is he so obsessed with Tedd?)

Tedd’s father Edward Verres works for the government. Though the neighbors don’t know it, he is actually head of the Paranormal Division, a secret inter-agency task force charged with covering up evidence of paranormal activities. He has many strange friends and usually has a better idea of what is going on than most of the other characters.
Alignment: Neutral-Good.
Intelligence: High.
Paranormal Abilities: Magic user.
Hair: Blue.
Sexual Orientation: Hetero.

Grace Sciuridae a.k.a. “Shade Tail” a.k.a. “Claire” is a refugee from a shady genetics lab, where she was created as part of an ill-conceived attempt to breed shape-changing assassins. She is gentle, kind and playful. She loves video games, at least the kind without realistic violence.
Alignment: Chaotic-Good.
Intelligence: High, but very naive.
Paranormal Abilities: Shape-shifting, telekinesis, talking to squirrels.
Hair: Usually dark brown.
Sexual Orientation: Tedd.

Sarah’s best friend Susan Pompoms is dark and cynical. She is the founder and president of the Feminist Club at Moperville North. Naturally she and Tedd do not get along well at all. She is a Star Trek fan and identifies with Mr. Spock. She is also germophobic and somewhat obsessive.
Alignment: Lawful-Neutral.
Intelligence: Above average.
Paranormal Abilities: Limited magic-user.
Embarrassing Secret: She’s a natural blonde and her real first name is Tiffany.
Hair: Dark blue.
Sexual Orientation: Hetero, but doesn’t like men–or at least doesn’t trust them.

Nanase Kitsune attends Moperville South High School, but she has 3 connections with the characters introduced so far.

1. She knows Elliot from martial arts classes.
2. She is Tedd’s cousin, though they rarely see each other.
3. She met Susan during a student trip to France, though they are not very close.

Nanase is a straight-A student and speaks French and Japanese fluently. Nevertheless she finds small ways to rebel against her mother’s strict rules.
Alignment: Lawful-Good.
Intelligence: High.
Paranormal Abilities: Like Elliot she is a student of Anime-Style Martial Arts, though she is better at it than he is. She is also a magic user like Susan, but more advanced.
Hair: Red.
Sexual Orientation: Hetero. Absolutely, no question about it. Anyway she had better be, because her mom hate gay people.

Justin Tolkiberry is Nanase’s best friend and confidante. He works part time at the Salty Cracker, a comics shop where Nanase often hangs out.
Al: Neutral-Good.
In: Average.
PA: A student of Anime-Style Martial Arts, though not as advanced as Elliot and Nanase.
Hair: Orange.
SO: Gay.

Greg is Elliot, Nanase and Justin’s martial arts instructor. Originally a black belt in 3 different disciplines, his life was changed when his girlfriend dumped him and he responded by locking himself in his room and watching anime continuously for an entire week. On the seventh day he had an epiphany in which he realized the secret of the martial arts being used. He subsequently opened the Anime-Style Martial Arts Dojo. Greg is painfully aware that the founder of a school of martial arts ought to be an elderly pervert, but unfortunately he is in he is in his late twenties and a straight-arrow.
Al: Lawful-Good.
In: Above average.
PA: ASMA.
Hair: Dark brown.
SO: Hetero.

The Demonic Duck is a distraction. Ignore him. He’s not really a demon, but he’s rude and sarcastic.
Al: Chaotic-Neutral.
In: Below Average.
PA: Illusions.
Feathers: Red.
SO: Human women.

Ellen Dunkel is sort of a female duplicate of Elliot. They look similar but their personalities are quite different: she is much more outgoing, mischievous and devious.
Al: Chaotic-Neutral.
In: Average.
PA: Anything Elliot can do, plus a transformation beam.
Hair: Light brown.
SO: Bi.

Dan Shive [NCC] is the creator of the comic, and sometimes shows up to give explanations. He appears to be some sort of deranged wombat. (OK, he’s supposed to be a squirrel, but I never saw a squirrel that looked like that.) It is also possible that he is just a character in a comic drawn by Sarah.
Al: Chaotic-Neutral.
In: Above average.
PA: Omnipotent.
Hair: Brown.
SO: Pervert.

Melissa is Justin’s former childhood friend and the bane of his existence. They went on ONE date and she has been obsessed with him ever since.
Al: Lawful-Stupid.
In: Below average.
PA: None.
Hair: Orange.
SO: Hetero.

Minion [NCC] is Dan’s long-suffering assistant. That’s not his real name; it’s his job title.

Gillian and William are not aliens. They are Uryuom-Americans, born in this country and proud of it. They are old friends of Mr. Verres, who first came up with the disguises that let them pass unnoticed among humans.
Al: Chaotic-Good.
In: Above average.
PA: Uryuom technology, languages.
SO: Uryuom.

Hedge was produced in the same ill-considered genetic research project that produced Grace; she thus considers him her “brother.” He has a very different personality: grim, pessimistic and sometimes ruthless. He doesn’t like owls.
Al: Chaotic-neutral.
In: Average.
PA: Limited shape-shifting; martial arts.
SO: Probably hetero.
Hair: Grey.

Guineas is another of Grace’s “brothers,” part human and part guinea pig. He doesn’t say much.
Al: Chaotic-neutral.
In: Below-average.
PA: Limited shape-shifting.
SO: Hetero.
Fur: Brown.

Vlad is Grace’s third and most dangerous “brother.” He has characteristics of a vampire bat.
Al: Chaotic-neutral.
In: Average.
PA: Limited shape-shifting, flight, paralyzing scream.
SO: Doesn’t matter.
Hair/fur/feathers: white and black.

Damien was the product of a different genetics experiment. He has a messiah complex and is utterly ruthless.
Al: Lawful-Evil.
In: Above average.
PA: Fire, regeneration.
SO: Hetero.
Hair: Black and white.

Dr. Sciuridae used to work at the genetics lab that produced Grace, Hedge, Guineas and Vlad.
Al: Chaotic-Neutral.
In: Above average.
PA: Mad scientist.
SO: Hetero.

Nioi is a visitor from the Alpha Universe (see below) and a friend of Lord Tedd. Nevertheless she seems pretty nice.
Al: Chaotic-Good.
In: High.
PA: Magic user.
SO: Unknown.
Coloration: White and purple.

Kaoli is sort of a duplicate of Nioi.
Al: Lawful-Neutral.
In: High.
PA: Magic User.
SO: Unknown.
Coloration: White and pink.

Lisa [NCC] is a law student and Amanda’s roommate. She may have inappropriate designs on Amanda.
Al: Chaotic-Neutral (bordering on Evil.)
In: Above average.
PA: None.
SO: Lesbian.
Hair: Black.

Diane is a student at Moperville South who looks and sounds exactly like Susan, except for the hair color. However her personality could not be more different. She is the leader of a clique of girls whose goal is to get boys to spend money on them.
Al: Chaotic-Neutral.
In: Smarter than she looks.
PA: None.
SO: Hetero.
Hair: Blond.

Lucy is the second-ranking member of Diane’s clique. She’s meaner than Diane.
Al: Chaotic-Evil.
In: Not as smart as she thinks she is.
PA: None.
SO: Hetero.
Hair: Light brown.

Rhoda thinks it’s amazing that girls as cool as Diane and Lucy will let her hang out with them.
Al: Neutral-Good.
In: Smarter than she thinks she is.
PA: None.
SO: Hetero.
Hair: Black.

Noah is a mysterious blond boy who is a close friend of Melissa. He is reserved and speaks very formally.
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He is probably the one referred to as “The Child Left Behind.”

Al: Lawful-Good?
In: Above average.
PA: Unknown but probably substantial.
SO: Hetero.
Hair: Blond.

The “French Immortals” (real names unknown) can sometimes be seen spying on Elliot from the Spirit Plane. They seem somewhat confused, but basically decent.
Al: Chaotic-Good.
In: Probably high, but very confused.
PA: Immortal.
SO: Hetero.
Hair: Pink and blue, respectively.

Lavender is Mr. Verres’ personal assistant. She is not to be trifled with.

Agent Wolf is an FBI agent assigned to the Paranormal Division. He seems credulous and paranoid and is apt to imagine paranormal phenomena where none exist. For example he thinks that Lavender is an alien, in spite of repeated assurances that she is not.
Al: Lawful-Neutral.
In: Average.
PA: Magic user.
SO: Hetero.
Hair: Light brown.

Agent Cranium is Wolf’s partner and apparently his girlfriend. She is much more skeptical and rational than Wolf.
Al: Neutral-Neutral.
In: Average.
PA: Magic user.
SO: Hetero.
Hair: Blond.

Pandora a.k.a. “Chaos” is one Immortal that you don’t want to tangle with. She appears in many forms.
Al: Chaotic-Evil.
In: Above average, but insane.
PA: Immortal.
SO: Probably hetero, but who cares?
Hair: Varies.

Magus is a human wizard from another universe who is now trapped in the Spirit Plane and is willing to do just about anything to get out.
Al: Neutral-Evil.
In: Average.
PA: Wizard.
SO: Unknown.
Hair: Blond

Mrs. Kitsune is Nanase’s mother. She is very strict and traditional.
Al: Lawful-Unknown.
In: Smarter than Nanase imagines.
PA: Unknown.
SO: Hetero of course.
Embarrassing Secret: Her sister.
Hair: Very dark purple.

Akiko Kitsune is Nanase’s little sister. We don’t know much about her but she seems to love her big sister very much.

Catalina Bobcat is a member of Susan’s feminist club at Moperville North. She, Susan and Sarah are the only members who take it at all seriously. She is emotional and impulsive.
Al: Chaotic-Good.
In: Average.
PA: None.
SO: Lesbian.
Hair: Orange.

Abraham was a medieval English wizard whose blundering had tragic consequences that continue to this day.
Al: Lawful-Stupid.
In: High, but lacking in wisdom.
PA: Wizard.
Hair: Grey.

Adrian Raven is a creepy History teacher at Moperville South. He takes a disturbing interest in students with paranormal abilities.
Al: Lawful-Good. Probably.
In: High, but possibly insane.
PA: Magic user.
SO: Unknown.
Hair: Black as a moonless night.

Principal Washington is the long-suffering administrator of Moperville South. If there is anything paranormal going on he would rather not know about it.

Chika [NCC] is Amanda’s colleague at Germahn Lab’s. Unlike Amanda she is not at all gullible.
Al: Chaotic-Neutral.
In: High.
PA: Mad Scientist.

Carol Brown is a news reporter for a local TV station. She can’t seem to convince her superiors that there is anything strange going on in Moperville.
Al: Neutral-Good.
In: Average.
PA: None.
SO: Unknown.
Hair: Blond.

George is Justin’s coworker at the Salty Cracker. He has strong opinions on popular culture and is always willing to expound at length on them.
Al: Lawful-Neutral.
In: Above average.
PA: None.
SO: Hopeless nerd.

Jerry is a friendly Immortal who can be very helpful if you can find him.
Al: Chaotic-Good.
In: High.
PA: Immortal.
SO: Unknown.
Hair: Blond?

Sirleck is a body-snatching Aberration.
Al: Neutral-Evil.
In: Above average but insane.
PA: Aberration.

Dan Shive is a nerdy guy who hangs around at the Salty Cracker, trying to impress the girls with how smart he is.
Al: Neutral-Neutral.
In: Above average.
PA: None.
SO: Hopeless nerd.

The Physics Professor cries a lot.
Al: Lawful-Good.
In: Above average.
PA: Able to sense when the Laws of Nature are broken.

Alternate Universes

Canonical Universes

The Main Universe is where the canonical storyline takes place. There are some other universes that occasionally impinge on the story.

The Alpha Universe contains a megalomaniac purple-haired mad scientist called Lord Tedd, his fearsome associate General Shade Tail, as well as Nioi and Kaoli. This universe has more advanced technology than the others, including interdimensional portals which permit travel between the universes.

The Beta Universe includes a mad scientist named Tedd and his girlfriend Ellen. Tedd cannot travel between universes but he can observe other universes and communicate with them. He is trying to organize the other Tedds to fight Lord Tedd.

The Second Life Universe is probably just a simulation being run in the Alpha Universe. It contains versions of Tedd, Ellen and Kaoli. In this universe Uryuoms fought in the American Revolution and are an accepted part of American society.

The Spirit Plane is a non-physical universe that is adjacent to a number of physical universes. People on this plane can observe the events in a physical universe but cannot affect them, except sometimes by means of mental communication with the people in the physical universe.

Non-canon Universes

Fans have postulated the existence of a Dan Shive Universe to explain the various non-canon stories. This universe contains Dan Shive (squirrel avatar), Minion, Dr. Germahn, Amanda, Lisa and Chika. It also contains alternate versions of the main characters. People in this universe can observe the Main Universe and are usually happy to comment at length on it. Dan can change the Main Universe in any way he likes. It is possible however that this entire universe is just a comic drawn by Sarah.

The AF04 Universe was created by Dan for the 2004 April Fools storyline. It contains a shy purple-haired nearsighted girl named Tess, a cheerful blond girl named Tiffany, the goth Dark Sarah, and Elliot who wears white shirts.

The II slooF lirpA Universe is just the Main Universe after Dan and Minion started fooling around. It was restored to normal afterward.

The Oblivious Universe may have split off from the Dan Shive Universe when Tedd got hold of an evil magic wand.

Magic and Magic Users

Sleepers are what the Immortals call ordinary humans. Sleepers have no magic powers, though if they know how they can make use of magical artifacts created by high-level magic users.

Sometimes a high-level magic user can teach a Sleeper to use one or two spells that fit their personality. Such people are called Dreamers. They have low levels of magical energy and have no way to learn new spells.

Someone with high enough levels of magical energy can be Awakened, ideally with the help of an experienced magic user. Normally this happens after years of study and practice, but Sleepers can also be Awakened by traumatic exposure to powerful magic. Such “improper Awakenings” are best avoided.

Using a lot of magic causes the Awakened to gain new spells. Most have no control over which spells they gain.

Wizards however can design new spells or copy other people’s spells. This is an innate ability and can not be acquired through training.

Immortals are a race of pointy-eared people who can enter and leave the Spirit Plane at will. They are probably the basis for human legends about elves. Within the Spirit Plane the Immortals have godlike powers, but when in the physical world they have no more power than human wizards. However human magic users cannot sense their power, which makes them especially dangerous.

Aberrations are human magic users who have transformed themselves into parasitic monsters in order to extend their lifespans.

Uryuom Technology is said to be powered by a kind of magical energy. However unlike traditional magic it can be understood and used by human mad scientists. Uryuom’s are limited in what they can do with their technology due to an array of quasi-religious restrictions. Human mad scientists have no such limitiations.

Anime-Style Martial Arts also resemble magic, but are different. Students learn to focus their ki in order to perform seemingly impossible physical feats, produce energy blasts and cast illusions on the weak-minded.

Japanese Names

Kisune (pronounced kit·suh·neh) means “fox.” While “Fox” might be a perfectly good English family name, it is unlikely that a real Japanese family would use it. According to Japanese folklore foxes are mischievous spirits who can take human form and even marry humans. The offspring of such unions may have magical powers but are not to be trusted. In some parts of rural Japan there are families that still suffer discrimination because they are suspected of being descended from foxes. However since Nanase does have magical powers, this name may be appropriate.

Nanase (Nah·nah·seh) is sometimes written with kanji meaning “Seven Winds” or “Seven Saints,” but it is usually written in hiragana and may have originated as a Japanized form of “Nancy.” [1]

Akiko can be written three ways: as “Bright Child,” “Sparkle Child” or “Autumn Child.”

Chika can be written in a number of ways including “Scattered Flowers,” “Thousand Flowers” or “Fine Intellect.”

Nioi (Nih·o·ee) is unlikely to be used as a real girl’s name since it can mean “scent” or “stench” and is just as likely to be used for bad smells as good ones. However the Nioi in this story appears to be part skunk, so it is probably appropriate.

Kaoli (Kah·o·ree, usually romanized as “Kaori”) is a fairly common girl’s name. It means “scent” or “fragrance” and can only refer to pleasant smells.

Links

The Shiveapedia is a treasure-trove of spoiler-laden information. Seriously, read the comic first.

Ookii.org includes an English/Uryuomoco Translator and an elaborate Character Statistics tool–useful, spoiler-laden but unfortunately not up-to-date.

Notes

[NCC] Non-canon character.

[1] The most famous Nanase is probably the popular singer Nanase Aikawa, who writes her stage name as “Seven Rapids.” (The full name can be read as “Seven rapids where the rivers come together.”