Knight and Day has a premise that will seem very familiar. An ordinary woman (Cameron Diaz) gets mixed up with a handsome, super-competent secret agent (Tom Cruise) who is fleeing from some bad secret agents. Of course the bad secret agents claim that they are really good and he is bad, but we are pretty sure that the romantic lead can’t be the bad guy, right?

This is a common premise, and of course it is pretty implausible. My problem is not that the premise and all the events in the movie are implausible. Most movies are implausible. It is the job of the writers, the director and the actors to take an implausible or impossible premise and make you believe it. In this case they aren’t even trying.

This movie makes about as much sense as “The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00”, but it lacks the advantage of Kyon’s sarcastic narration. It doesn’t have “refrigerator moments.” Instead it has an endless series of “in-your-face moments,” things that you can’t help noticing don’t make sense even as you watch them.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that the writers aren’t even trying. Everything is done by hand-waving. If the characters are facing imminent death, they will be fine in the next scene, with no explanation of how they got from Point A to Point B.

On the other hand, a lot of attention is paid to special effects. Lots of things zoom around and blow up. The violence level is pretty high, but fortunately this is in a universe where lots of people are killed, but nobody bleeds, even when stabbed in the chest.

There is nothing resembling dramatic tension. No matter how spectacular the special effects, I can’t muster up any feeling of concern for the characters when I don’t believe in them or the situation.

On the other hand, there are a few mildly funny lines, and the main characters are easy on the eyes. I’ll give it an extra half-star for that.