Category Archives: Humor

Lobbyists Scramble to Save AFRAP Program

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WASHINGTON (December 4) As fears increase that the government will actually go over the “fiscal cliff”, lobbyists are making last-ditch efforts to save threatened federal programs. Most of the reporting on the crisis has focused on the impending expiration of various tax cuts but the “cliff” also includes huge cuts in defense spending, threatening some of the Pentagon’s most sacrosanct programs. One of the biggest lobbying efforts is an attempt to save AFRAP, a development program jointly funded by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) and the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA).

AFRAP (short for “Autonomous Flying Robot Anal Probes”) seeks to develop a miniaturized version of the pilotless drones currently used for surveillance and weapon delivery, controlled by advanced Artificial Intelligence systems developed by the digital wizards at Disney’s subsidiary Pixar.

MPAA Chairman Chris Dodd claims to have already signed up more than 50 House and Senate co-sponsors for emergency legislation to save the program. “Both the Republicans and Democrats are on board with this,” he said yesterday. “I can’t emphasize the importance of this too strongly. After the failure of last year’s SOPA and PIPA legislation the American economy is threatened by a tidal wave of digital piracy, not to mention the closely associated threat of international terrorism.”

One of the sponsors is Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT), the author of the failed PIPA bill. “This is all about jobs,” he stated. “Millions of American jobs are threatened by piracy. Also terrorism of course.”

Representative Todd Akin (R-MI) is even more emphatic. “AFRAP is vitally important to protect America from the threats of piracy, Satanism, drug dealers and child pornography!” he insists.
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Simian Copyrights

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Law Professor David Post blogs about an interesting legal problem.

A wildlife photographer left his camera on the ground in an Indonesian national park. A monkey picked up the camera and took several interesting pictures, including a grinning self-portrait. The photos were subsequently published. The question is: who owns the copyright?

Well the copyright to photographs belongs to the one who took them, which in this case was the monkey. It doesn’t appear that the monkey properly licensed them for publication. Post agrees that the monkey’s rights have been violated and offers to represent him, with the prospect of obtaining a substantial number of bananas in compensation.

Ask Anything You Want

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The tourists are even allowed to consult the Oracle at Delphi. That scene reminded of when Chaz and I visited an ancient temple at Ise in Japan. Outside the gates, monks sat on platforms inscribing scrolls. “You may ask anything you want,” our guide told us. “Will there be peace in our time?” asked Chaz. The monk gave a look at our guide. Our guide said, “Ah, I think maybe a better question may be more like, ‘How many monks live in temple?’ ”

Roger Ebert: My Life in Ruins

Japanese Banks Hit by Credit Crunch

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From an office email
kami

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Apparently this was originally from BBC News.